I have a secret. Not a big secret, nothing deep and dark and earthshaking. But a secret none the less. What might it be? Could it be a secret lover? or maybe a juicy murder? of course not! But its a secret that Im not that proud of but shouldnt be embarrassed of this secret either.
I have an addiction. No I'm not a drunk, or smoke weed. I'm not addicted to drugs and snort white crap up my nose. Its a quiet addiction. An addiction that most ppl dont really notice... or know what to look for in this addiction. What might it be?
I admit it. Im addicted to shopping. It all started when my Grandma died of brain cancer last summer. I was very close to my grandma. She helped raise me along with my mom and grandpa. We played dolls together. Went to the store together. She went to Russia with my mom to adopt me. She was one of my best friends.
Soon after her death it started, nothing big, just 5 dollars here, 6 dollars there. It was a lot of small things, mostly cheap costume jewelry. like a red queen necklace, or a mad hatter ring. Sometimes credits for a game. But it doesnt matter what I bought. it was never enough. It would give me happiness for a day maybe two days then it got old, and forgotten. Then I wanted to buy more... and more... and more....
It got to the point where i maxed out credit cards, got my mom's accounts blocked. But i still found ways to shop. I went to stores and shopped. Often for things I didnt even need or remember why I wanted it in the first place. It didnt matter. I just needed the feel of something new.
It was easy to shop at stores because my grandfather gives me a generous allowance every week.
I realized that I needed to stop or I would run my family into debt. It was hard to stop shopping. I still have a hard time. I stopped cold turkey. and it was harder than hell. I wanted an excuse to shop for everything and anything. But everyday I fought to curb my shopping everyday.
I earn my money now. so now Im learning the meaning of a dollar. Because once my money for that week runs out, thats it, I have to earn it by doing chores around the house, it's not just handed to me anymore. Im also not allowed to shop online, or by myself. I only take a certain amount of money with me everytime I go shopping.
so there's my little dirty secret I'm addicted to shopping.
