This is My Vietnam

life keeps on dropping bombs and I keep score. every day I fight a battle against the memories, against the pain. people are lunatics, they like to push my buttons and say I'm not good enough.
they'd kill to see me crumple and fall, they'd kill to see me defeated, so I hold my head up high and look at the sky and wait for more bombs to fall, because this is my Vietnam, and I'm at war. I am strong, I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can't hold me down. And this is my Vietnam, and I'm at war. Sometimes I ask: what do you except from me? what am I not giving you? what can I do for you to make me ok in your eyes? they give me their demands, to change my beliefs, to change my goals, to change my soul, so i keep fighting, and they keep on dropping more bombs. but I just keep score, because I know I will always win because I have faith on my side, and my army is of angels that protect me from the wounds. They help me heal so I can get up and fight again. So I can show this world there's more to me than bitterness and lies that they have created, I'll watch the bombs as they fall, and I'll keep walking forward to show them I am strong, I am beautiful, I am everything I wanted to be. This is my Vietnam, they keep on dropping bombs and I keep score. i don't need the media;s approval, they laughed and scorned at Christ, they laughed and scorned at Ghandi, so I follow them in their peaceful ways, I won't be the weak ones, who drop bombs, I'll be the one standing strong, with my head held high For I know I can never lose if I have faith on my side. So let them drop their damn bombs, let them weary themselves with war. I won't fight back with blood, but with peace and love. For in this world we have but one chance to make it, to do it right, to make a name for ourselves that people with be proud to say for generations to come. To be that change I need to see in the world. to turn the other cheek and forgive. For they are nothing without faith, though they think that they can win with their useless bombs, they do not see that they can not harm me. For I have faith on my side. They will crumble and fall in the end, while I stand strong, cuz the winner takes it all, and the loser has to fall. they may roll their dice, their minds as cold as ice, but the winner takes it all. So let the bombs continue to fall, because this is my Vietnam, and I'm at war. i don't need to know what you expect from me, I don't want to know what I can do for you to make me ok in your eyes. Because it doesn't matter, it never will, i can never fail, though this is my Vietnam, I am the one standing with her flag strong. I can teach you about freedom, about love and peace and all the great things that we take advantage of, but i won't teach you to hate, the world can do that for you. Fight back with love, not words or fists, for you give em a punch, they bleed, but the wound goes away, while the peace will always stay if you have faith in yourself, keep trusting God, you have an army of angels to protect you. never give in, never lose yourself to the bombs of society. make something of yourself, make your name known, love yourself no matter who you are. If you're gay that's ok, if you're straight, refuse to hate. skin is only color, love lasts foever. don't ever give in, don't ever give up, hold on it's gets better than you know. Because we all bleed the same way, and we all have the same things to go through, this is my Vietnam, I'm at war, but i can never lose I have God on my side, so bring on the pain, bring on the hate, I won't fall, and if I do, the one God wants me to become will catch me in a valley of angels, so go ahead take your best shot, you can never hurt me, you will never kill me, for I am strong, I am beautiful, i am everything that I want to be. i have a long road to journey, but I am not afraid of storms for i am learning to sail my ship. And I have a dream, a song to sing to cope with anything. I sing that song in my heart, my song is hope. it is my sword, my shield my armour, The world won't care who you are if you don't make a name for yourself, even then they might laugh and drop their bombs of hate on you. never give up, and never give in. Because you can never lose if God is on your side. So fight for hope, and fight for peace, fight for what you believe in, they May call you names, and hit you, but stand strong, you have an army of angels to guide you through this war. life's a bitch, it isn't meant to be easy. But that makes it all the more worth it. Be who you are, be proud of what you have, it's not the cards you hold, it's the ace you hide up your sleeve, play it well, and with God you will never fail. Society's crazy, society's mad, they have no reason, nor no mind. don't head their treacherous warnings, You have God, so you will never fail. Let the demons attack you, let the battle rage on, I have nothing to fear for I have God on my side, I don't need your fancy weapons, I have hope to sheild me, to be my sword, spit your bullets and throw your granads, you'll always miss cuz I have God on my side to battle the hate, to banish the pain, to give me victory over those who hurt me. this is my veitnam. and I'm at war.

The Dancing Queen

I am quite fun to know. Ask any of my friends and they will tell you that I am a fun, peace loving, artistic nonconformist. They may tell you more about me, but let me do the honors this time. 

First of all, I was born in Russia. I have a lot of bad memories of when I was a toddler. I was orphaned at age 3 due to my drunken sperm donor shooting my birth mother in the head. I was adopted at age 4 to the best family anyone could have or wish to have. (I just happen to be the lucky one. =D ) Because of the violence I witnessed and was subjected to, I have Severe PTSD, depression, and anxiety disorder and three different kinds of seizures. But I have conquered where most people would stumble and fall. I was the one who kept getting up and fighting back. I am considered a huge success story among the Cleveland Clinic doctors, and am greatly encouraged to write a book about my life experiences to help inspire others. This is due to the fact that I can function at a very high level, while most ppl who have suffered similar trauma would not be able to function so highly. I am very proud of my success in dealing with my disabilities. It's been a hard journey, with a lot of road blocks. but I am walking with my head held high. for I am more than just my disabilities, I am Laura Regina Therese Pisarek. I do not let my disabilities hold me down. They are my cross that I must carry for we each have a cross to carry...like Christ himself. It makes us more compassionate if we allow God to enter our lives. For i am like a sparrow and let God take care of all my needs. I love God, I love Christ, I do not like your christians, for they are most unlike Christ. Ghandi once said this, and due to experience, I quite Agree with Him, so i am Wiccan, because I find Christ and God through the gifts of nature.

I have always been an artist.... ever since I could move my hand. While other kids on the playground were playing ball, I was drawing the school and the idiots around me. I am still like that, I often forget to eat because I am so absorbed into my artwork. I love drawing people, portraits and the strange, images that my mind has created for me and beg to be put on paper. My art is very expressive and sometimes gruesome. I love my art. It is a part of me I care for. It's is like a child to me, and I it's mother. art is my dream, my life, my soul.

I love animals, I adore each fluffy creature that I see. i have two quirky cats, a lovable sheltie who will never grow up, and a miniature rabbit. I really want to adopt a baby squirrel or chipmunk. if i could, I would have all the stray and unwanted pets brought to my house so they can be loved and spoiled rotten. 

I am also psychic. I can see angels and spirits. I can feel someone's emotional energy a mile away. I can walk in a room, not look up and instantly know who is feeling what. I can describe someone with accuracy that I have never met. This often actually makes me shy in a new class. I can tell that a lot of people in this writing class are kind of feeling awkward towards me. so currently I feel slightly out of place with everyone's energy around me. Which I hope to change with my winning personality. =D

 I love dancing and standing out from society's definition of normal. Because well - behaved women rarely make history. It's those who dare to challenge the definition of normal that change the world in some kind of form. I love being who i am. I love being the bold one.

 I love  reading more than I like watching t.v.  Reading allows me to escape to different time periods, and different worlds, to doomed romances that turn out ok in the end. To the scandals of a high society family in the mid 1800s. To the mystery of a new agatha christie novel. To going into the world of batman. to challenge the known and roam the unknown.

 I love 70s music, old cartoons that my mom used to watch as a kid. My mom is also my best friend. I can tell her anything. And I love that relationship I have with my mother. It's the best kind of relationship one should have with their parents.

I am the one who rocks the dance floor first, while others are uncomfortable to move out of their chairs. I speak my mind, and challenge what I feel is unfair. My favorite season is autumn because the bare branches look like black lace against the cloudy sky. IT excites me every time I see it. IT never gets old for me. I love it more each time I see it. I love walking through the leaves and hear their crisp crackling neath my feet, I love the colored leaves that God paint through the night, I love the cool evenings where I can snuggle under two blankets. And I love the scampering squirrels with acorns in their paws.

I love my life  because I am who I always wanted to be. Because I am laura.  

can anyone tell I love writing poetry?

2/26/06

Prancing the skies throughout

the weary man awakened by the

silent lullaby that mournful ears deafened by.

The souls of slumbering children wake

with enchantment gleaming in their eyes.

Ladies of white innocence gracefully

make their grand entrance

sweeping their gowns of white across

the silhouettes that clash against the sky,

Through each life of never ending toil,

takes a moment's rest to stare

across the sky that winter ladies of white blind

At night, when no eyes can bring bitter scorn,

in silk gowns I waltz along with the ladies in white

And with the sun's birth, I slip back inside

and it;'s my little secret I share only with the ladies of white

a prayer/hymn I wrote when I feel alone

3/1/06

In a world made of candied lies,

children's smiles last for only a short while.

In my world, there's only the pain

that I can't seperate myself from.

And the only friends that remain are

the shattered pieces of my mind that lie

forgotten and forsaken in the attic of my soul.

Don't you remember me?

Mother of strays come find me now,

hold me once again.

you sang a song to me once,

then once the day began you left me on my own.

At the damning of the years,

your smile never fades away from my memory,

I don't know who you are. 

And the darkness closes in gently,

and I am left with only what I began with.

Mother of strays look for me now.

Voices turning and turning inside,

Color my world a different color if you will,

but you can't color my soul gold.

IN a world of dying hope,

there will never be a second chance.

This is the end of all things sweet,

Because it never was and never will be,

I know you see me,

Now give me back my heart, 

so maybe then I can feel something more 

than your laughter in my mind.

Mother of Strays come hold me now,

craddle me with your mournful song,

I wander the streets 

that divide me in my lonesome mind,

and the world you see 

is different from the world I see,

I want to feel 

what I never thought could ever be real.

Mother of strays,

tourniquet of my bleeding soul,

come hold me now,

and wrap me in your dark embrace.

Mother of strays hold your children in your heart.

Gather your children into your arms, 

Widowed by pain, 

your children call upon your name.

Keep us close to your heart,

You will hold the outcasts in your heart,

Mother of strays,

my refuge, 

my home.

Come take me home 

Mother of Strays.

We are the children of darkness,

forgotten by happiness,

we live in sorrow,

We are the arms that no one wants,

we are the orphans of pain.

No one even knows our names,

no one ever loved us,

no one ever knew we were there,

hiding in the shadows of pain,

Mother of strays hold your children in your heart

A random poem.....beware...I love poems

4/30/06

She was just another face in the crowd,

She was just another girl with a frown.

He was just another boy in the hood,

He was trying to be ever so good.

Could it be different today?

Could the hate be swept away?

She whispered hi there,

She's hoping he'd care.

He turned around,

He saw her as she frowned.

Could today be a different day?

Is there another way?

She wanted to laugh today,

She wanted to be swept away.

He hoped to catch her tears,

He hoped to drown her fears.

Would it be a different day?

Could the tears be swept away?

She wanted to make him smile,

She wanted to be loved for a while.

He only knew hate,

He never trusted fate.

Could today be the day?

Could they live a different way?

She wanted to be in his arms,

She wanted to be away from harm.

He wanted to hold her tight,

He wanted to make this right.

Could today be a different day?

Could today we love anyway?

Together they have each other,

together they learn to love one another.

And today is a different day.

And Hate has lost it's way.

Today we learn to love anyway.